By John W. Fountain
These are a few lessons on life written to my daughter.
Some of them are rooted in the wisdom of my dearly departed grandmother. Some
rinsed with humor. Some stem from my own experience—and even my mistakes—as a
man. All are shared in hope and concern. And perhaps in them lie lessons for
all daughters:
Dear daughter, don’t embrace the privilege of being
my daughter but reject the responsibility of being my daughter. I love you no
less when I am giving you words of wisdom and lessons that you find difficult
than when I am giving you good gifts. You need both for your journey into—and
throughout—womanhood.
Dear
daughter, some women say, “All men are dogs!” If this is true, then some of
them must confess to being dogcatchers, dog keepers, dog lovers and to having
laid down with dogs. I see not a dog in your future but a man.
A BD (a Baby Daddy) too often becomes just a
DB (a Deadbeat). Choose instead a HF (Husband/Father) who will help you build a
FH (Family/Home).
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"Dear daughter, you are no man’s chicken meal deal:
breasts, thighs, legs and a back."
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Don't
settle for a “fixer-upper,” thinking you can “change” him. It's easier to flip
a house than to flip a man—and a lot more profitable, with a lot less
heartache.
Don’t
date a THUG: A Trifling Harmful Undependable Guy. If his mother didn’t raise
him, you certainly can’t. So if the raising’s not done, you’re stuck with someone
else’s unfinished son.
If
you begin making excuses for a man, rest assured you’ll have to keep making
excuses for him. You can do good all by yourself.
Dear daughter, a man does not affirm
your identity. Always remember who and whose you are.
If
it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it ain’t a swan.
Don’t listen to the naysayers. Work, plan, build,
dream—and always believe.
Just because you made a mistake in choosing a “bad”
boyfriend or mate doesn’t mean you’re stuck with him. Know when to hold ‘em. And
know when to fold ‘em.
Take all threats seriously. And deal
with them. Call me.
No man is perfect. Every relationship
has its trials and costs. But you cannot afford to try and save “him”—or your
relationship—at the full expense of you.
Dear daughter, sex isn’t love. And love
doesn’t hurt. Never confuse the momentary embrace of intimacy with the lasting
assurance of true love by a real man.
Real
men protect, produce and provide. Period.
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Coming Fall 2015 |
Real
men make mistakes but endeavor to rise above them. They make a way. Not
excuses.
Dear
daughter, you are no man’s doormat.
Don’t
choose a date not fit for a mate.
There
is a reason some sisters have never been married. Some don't respect men. Some see
a man as the final little piece in their picture-perfect puzzle. “Submission”
is not subservience. You cannot love a man you don’t respect. Be wise.
Don’t
allow your relationship with one man to contaminate your view of all men. Don’t
be bitter, baby. Be better.
Dear
daughter, you are no man’s chicken meal deal: breasts, thighs, legs and a back.
You are a woman, wondrously made, a beautiful daughter.